As with most Americans of my generation, I've never really been too concerned about getting married just quite yet. In fact, I feel as if the general consensus among Americans my age is that marriage doesn't need to be (and quite honestly shouldn't be) a concern when one is in their early to mid 20's. That is of course if one even intends to get married at all.
In Japan, at least in the rural areas, this doesn't really seem to be the case. I can't speak too much for the young men of Japan, but I've noticed that a large part of the women in the 18-25ish age range are either already married or actively seeking to get married and have a child. To me, this active pursuit and interest in marriage is a very strange departure from what I perceive to be an overwhelming disinterest in marriage on the part of most young Americans.
But I've found myself slowly getting sucked into this mindset that one should be trying to get married at this age. For me personally, there are a number of factors which contribute to this. The biggest, and most obvious factor for me (I think) is that I work with young kids. And let me tell you, they are SOOO freakin' cute. While teaching at Elementary School isn't exactly my favorite, when I get the chance to go play with the kids outside or just hang out and talk with them, I sometimes think to myself "You are so cute! Why aren't you my kid?!"
I think the other factor which plays into my changing mindset is the fact that "Do you have a girlfriend?" is probably the most common question I get asked, aside from "Where are you from?" and "What is your name?" And don't just think that its women in my age-range that ask this question... My students ask me this. Old ladies ask me this. Middle-aged men ask me this. Complete strangers ask me this. Basically, everyone asks me this. But why?
To be honest, I don't quite have an answer. All I can say, is that (at least from my perspective) there seems to be a much greater concern about whether or not someone is single, dating, or married in Japan. In America, the question "Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?" is quite heavy and carries with it the implication of "I'm interested in dating you" or "I know someone who is interested in dating you." In Japan, the question seems to carry no such weight and really isn't all that different from asking "Do you like apples?"
But despite the question not seeming to carry any significance whatsoever, I do feel that it contributes to the desire (pressure?) to marry at a young age. It's almost as if being asked this question is a constant reminder of either A) the fact that you are single, have no bf/gf; therefore cannot get married, or B) the fact that you have a bf/gf combined with the implication, "Then why aren't you married yet?" It's a vicious cycle. Basically, my opinion is that this light-hearted, no-ill-intended question actually plays a lot more mind games on the young Japanese people than they think.
So yeah, its all quite a different change from America. And while I say that I've been swept into this mindset (and I can just see the looks on the faces of my family and friends back home), let me assure you that I recognize the fact that I am still young, foolish, am in no way ready to make any big life decisions (this a large part of why I'm in Japan in the first place), and that most importantly I want to stay this way for as long as possible.
Now... trying to find a Japanese girl to date? That's an entirely different, complicated, and confusing story. lol
But yeah, that's it for this blog. I hope it was interesting? Oh... and I've gone back and added the answers to the blog about Japanese emoji or smiley faces.
Be seeing you next time!
Be seeing you next time!
