There is no denying that I've always been a fairly independent person. From my rebellious teenage years to my almost infamous inability to show/express deep affection, it can easily be said that I am usually quite content to be by myself and do my own thing. It's a large part of who I am, though I oftentimes wish this wasn't the case - for I feel that others may misinterpret it as me not caring/feeling.
Thinking along these lines, I chose to stay in Japan for Christmas. Up until now, this decision hadn't bothered me. It was just today, Christmas Day, that I realized that this was my very first Christmas day completely alone. But that's not to say that I was miserable. I kept myself entertained and in the spirit by listening to Christmas songs by Johnny Mathis and The Carpenters (as they remind me most of childhood & Christmas at home).
However, today I realized one really important thing: that while I like Japan, the culture, and the people I have met, there is no one in Japan that I
LOVE. I feel VERY strongly towards some of the people who have gone way out of their way to help me, my taiko group, my JET friends, and a few other people. But even still, there's always that slight feeling of being on the outside and looking in (whether due to me being a foreigner or not being able to understand 90% of the things that are being said to/around me).
On Christmas Eve I was fortunate enough to be able to hang out with a nice Japanese girl (and her sister & sister's husband) who speaks English really well. I had a really good time, but with Christmas Eve pretty much being the equivalent to Valentines Day in America I wasn't exactly sure how I was to act or what I was supposed to say/do. We went to Osaka, Kobe, and Kyoto and I had a really fun time, but it was also a slap-in-the-face reminder of not only how gloriously single I am (and likely will remain), but also of my inability to comprehend such a complex social situation through the lens of Japanese culture.
All of this combined has served to remind me just how much i LOVE my family, my friends, and my home. I truly miss each and every one of you, and I do regret that I am not there with you on Christmas day. I hope that everyone on my Dad's side enjoyed the usual Christmas Eve together, and I really wish I could have been there for the always entertaining white elephant. On my Mother's side, I hope everyone enjoys the amazing food that mother always makes, and I really regret that I won't be getting a present from uncle Bob this year (as it is one that always keeps me on-my-toes, and it's one I look forward to every year).
Lastly, to all my family and friends back home: I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May the food be good and the company better! Relax, have a good time, be safe, and most importantly, enjoy each others love and companionship.
With love always,
Jordan
